She had underestimated him
by MissJ79
Summary: What may have happened once Gail told Paul about her infertility


He closed the front door behind them, and instead of entering the house proper, he leaned up against the door and folded his arms across his tie, and she remained stationary in the entry way, feeling his eyes on her, looking at her in that way that made her insides turn to warm liquid.

'Do you want a drink?' she asked in a low voice.

'No', he whispered, closing the space between them. 'Not at all'.

It was some time later, after having finally relocated upstairs, that she realised several things. Firstly, she now knew, somewhat shamefacedly, that she had undoubtedly underestimated her husband. She found she was learning something new every day about him – and today she saw with clarity how very much she had misjudged what he would do when reacting to her revelation. Now she had finally told him her bottom line – she couldn't have children. And she had been so frightened of how he was going to take it – he really wanted a family. But her fears had been completely unfounded. Yes, he was disappointed, but he told her that she was more important to him. And to not put herself through that worry again. They had come home for lunch briefly, when she had told him, but now they had left the office for the day. Retiring at 6 o'clock on a summers evening, when the sky was still bright, _was_ a bit decadent. But she wouldn't have it any other way. She loved her husband so dearly for trying to make her feel better – at least their physical relationship was not something they needed to worry about. Their honeymoon had taught her as much: she had never – not even with her first husband – experienced that sort of pull towards any man.

But she also realised that she was going to have to explain some more of the situation to him and why it was very unlikely they would be able to have a family of their own. It was, after all, his business as well.

He turned to her. 'Right. Darling?'

She met his face. 'Yes?'

'I would really like to know more about it. But... I understand if you are not ready to tell me.'

She rolled onto her stomach and sighed. He rested his palm upon her back. The silence was comfortable between them. After a long interval she said, 'Yes I know. ….And its going to affect your future, of course you need more details. And I have had a long time to get used to it.'

'How long?'

'Well, years.' She took a deep breath. Because she was so used to the simple fact of her own infertility, it had been awhile since she had thought about how she had learned about it.

'It was several years ago now. I was married to Jeremy.'

He held her, at an arm's length, caressing her arm comfortingly, waiting for her to continue. 'I was at the doctor for a routine checkup – although Jeremy and I were happily married, or so I thought, we certainly were in no position to start a family. We had so little money in those days and I was pretty keen for my career to take off properly. So you know, I was at the doctor to get a prescription.'

'Right.'

'Well, I had the check up, and it came back abnormal. So, I was sent for some other tests – I wasn't really worried at that time, cos I had no idea what an abnormal result could mean. So I was very surprised when I went back and the doctor told me what the problem was. I had had pelvic inflammation in the past, which had resulted in some major scarring, and it was extremely unlikely I would be able to conceive.'

'Extremely unlikely?'

'Well, next to impossible.'

'And?'

She took a deep breath, and she felt the backs of his fingers move down her spine. She adored her husband. She was so lucky. 'And, that wasn't the end of it. I was told that the only way I would have ended up with that particular problem was if it was transmitted from a partner. And in his opinion, although it had gone undetected, it was likely I had had chlamydia in the last year, and I should inform whoever I had been with.'

Beside her she heard a deep intake of breath, and she knew that her husband realised where the story was going.

'But I had only had one partner. My husband,' she said, a little ruefully. 'That's how I began to suspect he had been unfaithful to me. And of course, as it turned out, he was.'

'I'm so sorry Gail.'

She sighed, trying in vain to suppress that sick feeling she had felt at the time, knowing she was infertile and the reason for it being that her husband had slept with other women. It made her skin crawl. But none of this was Paul's fault.

'It's ok.' she said, turning over to face him properly. 'That was the beginning of the end anyway – I couldn't trust a thing he said and then I caught him out having an affair. I could only forgive so much – he had such a hold over me.'

'Oh, darling.' She saw only pity for her in his expression. His concern was for her, rather than his loss.

'So anyway, that's the end of the story. I am so sorry I didn't tell you about it sooner. I am such a coward.'

'Gail, i am so sorry you had to go through that, and of course I would have liked children. But I have never been happier than when I am with you. I am so lucky to have you as my wife. As I said, you are not to put yourself though that again. Ok?'

And he kissed her, again. Did dinner really matter?


End file.
